To the expecting momma: Is this what I expected?

One mom's journey as she discovered that her son would have a disability.




Painting the picture: You’ve planned a trip to Italy. You lost a few pounds in anticipation of all the pasta you’d eat. You knew you were going to the Colosseum and the Leaning Tower within your first few days. You packed the perfect outfits for the photos you’d take by the Mediterranean. Some of your friends had been to Italy before, so you felt prepared and were ready to follow all their best recommendations.


But, when the plane lands, your pilot says, “Welcome to Holland.” You’re mad, upset, hurt, and maybe even confused. You don’t want to sound ungrateful, but you didn’t ask to or want to come to Holland. How did I get here? What do people do for fun here? What will I see and experience? What even is the language here?


So, God hijacked your plane and brought you to “Holland.” Could this be the best blessing in your life?


Look around, see the sights, and enjoy as much as you can. Before long, you’ll realize there are Rembrandt's, Van Goghs, windmills, spectacular tulip-covered fields, and stroopwafels to be enjoyed! -unknown This right here got me. It opened my eyes a little more to our journey we’ve been living for the past 5 1/2 years. At our gender reveal ultrasound, my husband and I found out that something was not right with our baby. We further found out he had excess fluid on the brain and a chromosomal abnormality with a small percentage of cases across the world to even know what we’d be experiencing.


So that Holland I referred to? Yup! I felt like the pilot just opened the door and dropped me out. I felt so confused and sad that my child was going to have a difficult life in this world.


YET. God wasn’t (and isn’t) done writing this story. He has molded our story in to a story of hope and trust. Our sweet Jayden is a reminder that God is stretching our faith and to be trusting; even in the midst of the unknown.


A few tips from this special needs momma:


•Read Gods word and keep it near to heart. The devil wants to attack this journey with your child. Give it to God and surrender your fears to him.


•COMMUNITY! Surround yourself with individuals that will pray fiercely over your child and support you to be in the word and lean on Gods promises.


•Doctor appointments. Take notes and ask questions. Bring a notepad and if you can’t find an answer, bring it to Relentless Hope (someone in this group may have knowledge about it) or get a second opinion.


•The earliest interventions are crucial. Ask your pediatrician about any kind of therapies offered in your area. There is usually a social worker associated with the doctor office that can assist you with concerns or general questions.


•Therapy BREAKS. If you child is in multiple therapies a week, include time for breaks and family fun time! Find a balance that is healthy for your family and your child.

•Give yourself GRACE. If your child isn’t meeting milestones or what ever “set back” you experience, their journey is unique and at times can be exhausting. Vent or share this with your spouse or friend and then move forward positively.


So as an expecting momma...was this what I was expecting? Not at all. But God had a different story and I wouldn’t change that story at all. God chose YOU to be this sweet baby’s momma. Embrace it and look for those Rembrandt’s and Van Goghs along the way.


Love, Lindsay

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